Okay, do any of you ever worry even though you know you shouldn't and that even if you do worry it's not going to help anything but you just can't stop yourself from worrying. I have really been fighting this here lately. I know that a lot of it goes back to the miscarriage that I had last year but I really don't want to worry, I want to feel like everything is going to be perfect, I want my ignorant bliss back. I keep telling myself that I am 22 weeks, we had a wonderful u/s and everything looked good so stop worrying but it's just so hard. Of course right when I start to feel better something happens and I worry all over again, for example: My little girl has been quite active here lately and then yesterday not so much, she was moving every now and then but not a whole lot, so of course I am freaking out. I keep telling myself that there is still lots of room for her to move around in and that she is probably just resting or has turned so that I don't feel her as much but I just can't help but worry (my poor darling husband of course has to deal with all of this, I am so glad that is such a wonderful guy or I think he would have killed me by now) . I really wish there was a Pregnancy after loss class that I could go to or something (I should research this), I know there are lots of regular maternity classes but I would like to go to one that deals with all the psychological issues that women who have had a loss have to deal with. Okay so now I am just blabbering.
Anyhow I really want to not worry and am working very hard on it so if any of you have encouraging words or anything that you think will help me, please let me know.
Hope all is well with everyone.
4 comments:
I would suggest the book "how to stop worrying and start living" by dale carnegie. It has lots of wonderful practical advice. I feel like it helped me a lot.
First and foremost, WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD! Worrying about a child is a mothers most time consuming job!!! I have never read the book Cindy mentioned but I do recognize his name from one of my psych classes so he must be halfway good at what he does. If you worry so much that you are keeping awake at night, I have several thoughts. Most important, pregnancy really messes a woman up mentally and emotionally. WHile I donot always advocate drugs, I would never have made it through either of my pregnancies without meds to help so talk to your doc. Also, I never had a miscarriage SO i do not exactly know your fears but Joey was considered unhealthy the whole time I was pregnant and with Abby, I cried myself to sleep numerous times because something was wrong and we could not figure out what. I only gained 1 pound the whole pregnancy and all sorts of other problems. THe doc actually told me he was worried about me and Abby. Not something you ever want to hear from a doc. But, we both ended up just fine. You just have to have faith that whatever happens you will get through it and your child will be fine and keep reminding yourself the tests all show a healthy little girl. It will all be okay in the end and it will work out. Hang in there and talk to enayone who will listen (me included). We will keep saying extyra prayers for the three of you!! Take care of yourself!
It's very normal to worry during preganncy after loss. I understand how you feel. I have a website I go to since the m/c, and they do have a pg after loss forum. bornangels.com and go to message boards. There are plenty of women that understand how you feel and are going through the same thing. Hang in there. It won't be long before you are holding that little girl in your arms, safe and healthy!
Pregnancy is a scary time for anyone so I can only imagine how scary it must be after a loss. The worrying doesn't stop after the baby is born but it is so wonderful to be able to hold your baby. You'll be there soon. And one perk of having trouble ttc is that you appreciate EVERYTHING about your child. It is the most amazing feeling and you are going to keep feeling so greatful for the gift you are given. ((hugs)) ~Kate
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